a tale undefined...

Two separate souls journeyed in a place full of doves… The first was known to be one of the most gentle among the souls dwelling around the place; a happy soul, which was fond of lending a hand to its fellow souls. The other was a tenderfoot in the league. Innocent and unaware of one another’s stroke of voyage, the two came across each other’s path. They played, they laughed and hummed songs each day… each got its aura lighting red whenever they share spaces but none of which noticed it. Some poor souls were also lingering around… roaming and finding flaws to their fellows… yet the bliss they shared with each other made the two not mind. For some indistinct reasons, the delightful souls lost hold of each other. One of the fellow roaming souls hastily got into the picture which made the novice soul got so much wounded. It preferred to continue its journey carrying the bewilderment about the sudden lost of belongingness.
During the next voyage… the wounded soul became a greenhorn no more. It was able to mingle itself with the other dwellers of the doves’ realm. It was able to regain its being and build up its own ring of soul mates. But the Divine Soul Creator must have wanted to let these innocent souls learn how a soul trip should really be traveled thus giving the two a chance to cross paths again. Songs unsung were sung; a great pleasure and bliss were brought about by the reunited soul travelers. Though, the set up wasn’t as smooth as how it was before. Both felt that they were no longer two alone… remember that another soul had already gotten itself into the voyage of the known to be gentle soul. Perplexity invaded the gentle soul’s journey as how it made the wounded soul believe. The former sought aid from the latter making it felt the task of saving its beloved gentle soul from its dilemma.
Yet chances are… the poor assisting soul found itself alone in the battle. The said to be gentle soul admitted of its not being valiant enough to save itself from the trouble it is into. It showed no courage to take any move to rekindle the bond that the two of them felt they supposed to have. The assisting soul felt worn out and restless of the circumstances that the soul asking for assistance itself permitted... It felt unaided while in fact it’s supposed to be just the one lending an aid… it felt that it has no hold at all to the gentle soul yet the poor unaided soul held on to what the gentle soul made it felt it needed…but all the efforts were worthless. The gentle soul gradually allowed itself to fuse with the hasty soul totally, leaving the assisting soul with no hold at it at all.
“No matter how hard we try some good things never last…”
The poor assisting and restless soul found its own voyage almost unmoving in consequence of spending most of its time saving the gentle soul… it was left unaided. Thinking of saving itself, it finally lost its grip from the hope of having its gentle soul back again. It was even more wounded than before but that was the finest thing to do…
“Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay…”

way back january 2008...

It must be over…’coz it’s over… no words would like to come out yet.. but then again letting everything go could make the bag gages lighter as everybody around would always put in…hmmm.. How should we start this???
“I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you… it’s personal… myself... and I…”
She’s just learned that there are things in life that are beyond our capacity to explain as well as to understand… such which make us out of control of the things that we encounter… let us become confused…bring us to uncertain decisions…and eventually lead us to feeling helpless…and…ending up…hurt…
Whew… does it really need to be talked about??? If the former her would be asked,, the answer will be a big NO… She would have preferred not to utter anything and just let everything stay inside her until they kill her sanity…but that is only if…
“I need some shelter for my own protection baby, to be with myself in center…clarity, peace, serenity…”
The past year hadn’t been filled with pure rainbows and butterflies… there were instances of pleasure she could say, but most are caused also by the same reason of the countless disquiets she encountered. It started with a lost of a very dear grand mom during the first month, simultaneous with the dismay felt from a supposed to be special friend…the month of hearts gave the same consternation as she saw an unexpected fellow that truly broke her for the very first time…third month wasn’t as disappointing yet never as relaxing neither… she had encounter unguarded experiences in the fourth month which truly made her felt confused and disturbed in most moments…until the most shocking hearsay gave answers and forcibly ended all the confusions she had the weeks before the fifth month… sixth and seventh were full of struggles to spare the amateur soldier in her from being totally wounded… the ways weren’t favoring the will and even heartbreaking yet needed to be done just to overcome the devastation she felt. As it is her special time every year, God had been good for He spared her in the eight month. Yet the peace she thought she had just beginning to have was at once followed again by a disquieting confession… that overwhelmed her that time yet never she expected that it would be the start again of doubly impairing and disturbing moments in the succeeding months…how memorable was the tenth month for this was full of unforeseen yet very amorous moments…though they weren’t as smooth as they were supposed to…a mixture of incomparable joy and terrible pains were brought by the eleventh month…this was the last lap to the finish line…full of struggles coming on the way of the striving heart in her…hardly knowing what’s waiting for her in the end… Alas! the last month which was supposed to be the happiest, ended it all… after the long wait…sacrifice…struggle…and hope… everything turns to nothing when what she thought and was made to believe wouldn’t ever happen, come about…
“Fairytales don’t always have a happy ending…”
Everything struck her as fast as a lightning…she expected it but she wasn’t prepared that yet… it was so heavy that she thought she couldn’t surpass it at all… she felt unaided…
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell of your understanding…”
It’s something that brings us this kind of throb inside of us… Yet it’s a sickness that no other physician could cure but the one carrying it himself… She tried to figure out what Kahlil Gibran meant until she found the answers in most of her encounters… We keep on pointing to different reasons why people get hurt, but she believes… the best that can explain why people feel that twinge in their hearts most of the time is that because… the mind doesn’t want to accept what the heart is feeling...things happen contrary to expectations… and more often than not what is happening is beyond our capability to accept and understand …and so we feel pain…
Finally, it’s still her most beloved Creator who stayed with her in her downfall… she prayed… for her not to stay that way… she’s still hurting but never bitter anymore… gone are the nights of confusions… she’s hanging no more… tears are still automatic every morning… yet they helped her to have the yearning to smile again…
It’s time to be a big girl now… and big girls don’t cry…”
People would always say that we should never be bitter if things do not come about the way we expect it to. It’s a sign of maturity, as a text message at one time put in. It even implied that to be fine we should learn to take things lightly no matter how much difficulty they have caused in our lives…
Thus, despite the lonely times… the heartbreaking hearsays… and the unbearable encounters… it must be over ‘coz it’s OVER…